Lord Funyun, The Schemer
Introduction Hello to all readers of this text, I am Lord_Funyun and I wish to tell all my story. Everything written here will be the truth, I shall not weave intricate lies or rumors about things I haven't done or things I am not. The story you read if you continue on will unfold as my tale here on this server does, but it will continue until my time here does end. Welp here we go. Early Life (Most of this is purely Role-play) Funyun Pykareon's early life was largely ordinary. He lived alone with his father who had been a miner all his life, they lived in Belegost head city of The Blue Mountains for over 30 years, Funyun grew to be an even better miner than his miner and he toiled in the mines every day adding to the great wealth of Belegost however small his contributions were. Now even at an early age he had never been a fighter especially compared to other dwarves, always looking for peaceful ways out of fights or letting other people fight for him. But in S.R. 1507 on his 38th birthday his father died in an expedition to the grey misty mountains. Funyun did not have the money without his father to support himself and so turned to his childhood friends. All of whom were facing similar money problems. Wompywomperson had failed to pay the citizen tax 2 months in a row and was facing eviction from the mountains entirely, but JoshKrawl had grown t ired of the blue halls and wanted to make something with his life. And Isack523 wanted to be remembered no matter what. Funyun had grown up to the tales of great Dwarven figures who had established great kingdoms in the mountains of the world and he wanted to be one of those names. And it seemed that there was a perfect place to start far to the east in an isolated corner of the world lay a mountain range. And in this mountain was one of the greatest Dwarven kingdoms of the east Firith Galad. Funyun had heard of its Elvish beauty and received a recruitment pamphlet telling him that he was welcome there. The Great Journey (I know it took me 2 years to get to the Mountains of the Wind but i'm not sure how long i spent in each place so times may be filler) Funyun journeyed outwards a week ahead of any of his friends though it would still take him over 2 years to travel across Middle-Earth. He faced many dangers, multiple life or death scenarios and a story to tell his children is he has any. To the Misties Funyun was able to spend what money he had on a carriage ride to Hobbiton in The Shire. Allowing him his first view of Hobbits he considered them weak and disappointing though he did take a liking towards pipeweed taking a medium pouch on his journey. He spent a week or two traveling through the shire resting at inns or under the stars nothing to trouble him yet. Within 2 nights of leaving the Shire he came across his first orcs and strangely they paid him no mind and would continue to do so for some time he never found out why but considered it a blessing and continued on. He reached greater Eriador and hunted Aurochs when he could developing a slight immunity to raw food over time. Halfway through Eriador he reached Bree, it was dull, stormy, and depressing and he barely spent a night there for it was clear he wasn't wanted. Throughout the next 2 months he approached ever closer to the looming mountains until he reached a intersection in the road the first choice he would have to make in his journey. He could head southeast towards the gap of Rohan and risk the forces of Isengard or brave the harsh climate and orcs of the Misty Mountains he took the shorter harsher path towards the mountains and within a week entered the foothills. He spent 4 long days clambering through in a straight a path as he could manage and finally emerged into the Vale of Anduin. The Long Trek Most of his Journey was spent traversing The vale, Wilderland, and Rhun. It was here where he killed his first orcs making him an enemy for the time being of the eastern evils. He also ran out of all his original supplies, he foraged for berries hunted animals and scavenged from the dead. He sustained several severe injuries from falls, orcs, arrows, and the elements. Though it was never enough to stop him. He miraculously found one of his mates Womp in Rhun. They built a small shack and stayed there for a week resting and telling tales, they started a small mine in the area. It may still be there to this day but it is lost. One night a group of Easterling soldiers came across the two and took them prisoner they were hauled westwards for 2 months until reaching North Khand Road, where infighting amongst their captors allowed Funyun and Womp to escape. They headed southwards into the Half-deserts of Near Harad, the two ran nonstop for over 3 days stopping briefly for food or water, evading sand scorpions, and feeling the heat of the sun. It is thought by Womp that it is in this desert that Funyun started to lose his humanity, because due to a lack of supplies and a failure to haggle with the nomads led to Funyun slaughtering an entire village. Then he did it again, and again, and again. Men, women, children, it didn't matter he felt as if all of them had wronged him terribly and that they needed to die. Womp broke off from Funyun at this point telling him he had something to do and they would meet again, Funyun would never know what kept him. A week later he reached the end of the desert 100 miles stretched between him and the Winds he wouldn't stop now he had almost reached his journey's end. In 1509 2 years after leaving the Blue Mountains Funyun came across a Wind Dwarf who had been sent out to meet him he was given an Elk and reached Firith Galad within 2 days. Life As a Wind Dwarf Funyun spent a few years with the Wind Dwarves, he participated in a party that welcomed all the newcomers and he drank until alcohol seemed to have no effect on him a sad day indeed. Funyun would set out on several private expeditions so multiple mountain ranges including: The Grey Mountains, The Iron Hills, and The Misty Mountains. Womp, JoshKrawl, and Isack would all make their homes in the same hall of Firith Galad. Womp's would connect with Funyuns as part of their personal brewery. Womp and Funyun even had dreams of opening a bar and grill in an adjacent hall of FG though it would never be finished. Funyun would collect several sets of Armor stacks of exquisite gems and resources, and 9 crafting tables of multiple cultures. He donated much of what he gathered to the kingdom hoping to earn the respect of his peers. Sometimes he'd walk through the gardens of the city admiring the beauty he had traveled so far to see. It was at this time that Funyun heard the story of one of the founders Nalle, according to king Goldbar Nalle had been one of the original founders of the Windy Mountains. Over a dispute of rulership Nalle left the faction entirely and ran off to Mordor forming a group that would eventually change Funyun's life. Mordor and Nalle had raided FG repeatedly and now were attacking Erebor multiple times, Funyun participated in the 4th battle of Erebor sustaining several serious injuries but getting in some shots at the enemy. This battle negatively affected Funyun he began to feel as if no matter what he did or how long he would ever wait he'd never fulfill what he set out to do. It can be assumed that everything Funyun did after this could be attributed to multiple Traumatic experiences, multiple almost life-ending injuries and a slow detachment from others of his kind. The hope of an Empire Funyun gathered his lifelong friends and told them that no matter how they did it they would try to carve out a piece of the world for themselves. Isack523 had been approached by Nalle about switching sides to a group known as the Wicked Dwarves, Dwarves who had fallen under the Dark Lord's will. Isack was able to arrange a meeting between himself, Funyun, Nalle Lord of the Wicked Dwarves, and The Mouth of Sauron. In it Isack and Funyun were able to deduce that there really was no place of the world untouched to they'd just have to take what someone else had. And so a deal was struck, Mordor would back the Coup of Fror the Golden, allowing Funyun to take his place. Nalle would choose the heir of Funyun, and the mountains of the Wind would fall under the same category as the Wicked Dwarves. Funyun not knowing or caring if Nalle would stay true agreed. The construction of a secret base deep in the Misty Mountains began, it would act as the main base of operations for the rebels. Here they gathered resources, money, weapons, and armor. They gathered a few more recruits to their cause and would strike when they were ready. Multiple watchtowers were built on the surface, and a vast underground network of mining tunnels lay under it all. At the top of a nearby mountain lay the main Armory and the most defendable point. But tragedy struck and divided the lifelong friends into two. Womp began to feel that the silver tongue of Mordor had corrupted Funyun and gave him a lust for power beyond anyone he'd ever known even preferring himself to be called Lord_Funyun now. He had them forge an armor fit for a king. He had gone from a man with a dream for his friends to a man who wanted to steal the work of dozens of people and kill anyone who got in his way. And so one day as Funyun was in his apartment in FG Womp spread the news of the Coup throughout the kingdom, including that it was backed by Mordor. TRaulston the man who had led Funyun through the mountains burst through Funyun's apartment door and being unable to draw his sword attempted to flee. But TRaulston was too quick for Funyun and set him on fire. He was barely able to survive the chase from FG the gardens allowed him to survive thanks to the stream found outside the maingate he floated downriver until he reached land. TRaulston chased him for hundreds of miles Funyun lost all of his personal belongings throwing them off gradually to throw off any scent being used to track him. He returned to the base in the Misties and found most of it ransacked and destroyed by both what were once his friends and Isack who he considered his only friend left. Aftermath Funyun soon heard word that all of his conspirators had been pardoned except Isack who didn't stay with the cause but didn't abandon Funyun either. The Mouth of Sauron told him he'd be welcome to join Mordor if he could prove himself and so that's what he did. He went to the Pelennor fields surrounding Minas Tirith capital of gondor and killed 1,000 Gondorian soldiers over the course of a month. He became a Mordor Scourge, a Wicked Dwarf. A misunderstanding gone wrong led his last childhood friend to bar Funyun from the Armory forever cutting him off from his childhood. And so homeless once again he made his way to the original Stalgrad the Wicked Dwarven fortress of Mordor. Once he reached there he essentially took his new apartment placed whatever he didn't need and placed it inside. Then he spent years thinking on his life, he began to see the error of his life the things he'd done wrong. He believed that the best way to live a peaceful life would be to go neutral. As the good players thought they were better people than the evil ones, and the evil ones were salty over all the wars they'd lost and such. But he'd stay evil as it was the only viable way to move up in the world but this time he'd work for it and earn it, he has gained a depression though as all of his friends have left him going off without him to live in the Shire peacefully. Funyun disappeared from the eyes of all for a while, he was attempting to set up a base of operations in the north Mordor mountains. By the time he had returned to society the Wicked Dwarves had collapsed due to a lack of people. Stalgrad had been abandoned it seemed to him, but a new Stalgrad was being built on the eastern border of Mordor. '''HenryReynolds '''had essentially become a lord of the Eastern Desolation, and was offering Funyun some land there. As of now he awaits the land, and once he gets it hopes to receive help in the construction of what he hopes to be his permanent home. (this ends the story for the time being come back when i reveal whatever happens to me next)